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Good to be retired

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  • Good to be retired

    Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired trips to Wally World to look at the "Walmartians" is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment. But, I digress...enough of my psychological fixations.

    While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?"

    "No," I replied.

    "Then why are you wearing that cap?"

    "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought this was a snappy retort.

    "The War of 1812, huh?" the "Walmartian" queried, "When was that?"

    God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I answered, as straight-faced as possible.

    He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"

    "It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too much fun!

    "Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

    I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

    "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"

    "Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage."

    The moron nodded knowingly.

    "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."

    "Oh yeah?" he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

    With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"

    The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

    After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.

    Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.

    What a great time I had!

    Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap.

    Then the next day I will go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the place.

    Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
    sigpic

  • #2
    Re: Good to be retired

    all fun and games until some one gets hurt.. some one may freak out completely.
    Glenn Gale, President 1-26

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    • #3
      Re: Good to be retired

      Great story!!!
      Randy - aka racinfan101
      Central IL Chapter 1-39 President
      2024/25 National President

      https://www.facebook.com/groups/cent...?ref=bookmarks
      2002 Vulcan Drifter 800, 2010 Vulcan Nomad 1700, 2020 Kawasaki W800. Gone but not forgotten...2008 Vulcan Mean Streak, 2002 Vulcan Drifter 1500.

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      • #4
        Re: Good to be retired

        Hahahaha. Love it!
        San Diego Vulcan Riders 1-24
        https://sdvra.com
        • 2002 VN1500P Mean Streak
        • 2006 VN1600B Mean Streak
        • 2013 VN1700J Vaquero

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        • #5
          Re: Good to be retired

          Since I'm a boater when it's too nasty to go out I go to one of the local boat ramps with a few beverages for entertainment...probably the husbands of the Walmart women.
          Bob Howley "ICE CUBE"
          2007 VN900 CUSTOM
          2020 1700 VOYAGER

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          • #6
            Re: Good to be retired

            ghia2nv, I will have to try that the next time I go into Wally World. I think I will were my submariner hat. See if it goes over as well as yours. That was hilarious!

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            • #7
              Re: Good to be retired

              Congrats on retirement. I just retired on 7-09-15 @ 62 and moved from Asheville to Ohio, promptly purchased a 99 VN1500G. Liked your Walmart story. Where else can you shop for everything you need, get lots of free entertainment and learn a foreign language all in one place. I think Roger Moore should make a film
              "Wally World-- The Movie"" Anyway NEVER WILL PASS BY A VETERAN WITHOUT SAYING THANK YOU FOR SERVING" Something I just started doing last year. Everyone should do this !!! Pass it on and Thank you for your Service (Carl S U.S. Army 1975-81)

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              • #8
                Re: Good to be retired

                Nice!

                I wore an olive drab t-shirt from a bike and car show to Wal-Mart and a teenager thanked me for serving.
                '18 Road Glide Special, '18 Moto Guzzi V7III Carbon, '75 KT250 Trials.

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