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Counter Steering:
If you push the left bar, the bike goes left.
If you push the right bar, the bike goes right.
That is, unless you keep pushing the right bar all the way, then you will probably go left while the bike swaps ends.
Crashing:
Remember riding isn't inherently dangerous...crashing is.
The Sidelines:
It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.
Fuel:
The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
The Rear Wheel:
The rear wheel is just a big fan used to keep the rider cool and his butt relaxed. If in doubt... watch. When it locks up or slides out you can actually see the rider start sweating and pucker marks are left on the seat.
Too Slow:
No one has ever hit something too slow.
Rides:
A 'good' ride is one you can walk away from.
A 'great' ride is one you can walk away from and use the bike again.
Getting Hit:
They can't hit you if you're not there.
Mistakes:
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Traction:
When traction is sparse, the probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of lean. Large angle of lean, small probability of survival and vice versa.
Your Brain:
Never let a motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't go five seconds earlier.
Fog:
Stay out of fog. The single red taillight you think is another rider ahead that you can catch, might be the red starboard light of a docked boat.
Parking:
Always try to keep the number of times you park the bike equal to the number of times you've ridden it.
Luck & Experience:
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Mirrors:
If all you can see in your mirrors is the direction you were previously traveling intermingled with sparks, and all you can hear is commotion from the passenger riding pillion; things are not at all as they should be.
Other Objects:
In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and plastic going dozens of miles per hour, and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for cars, trucks, walls and most animals. Draws don't count.
Judgment:
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
Going Forward:
It's always a good idea to keep the headlight end going forward as much as possible.
Looking:
Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
Laws:
Remember, gravity and centrifugal force are not just good ideas. They're laws not subject to repeal.
Clean Underwear:
" Make Sure you have on clean underwear in-case your in an accident" . This is something a Mom would say.
If your in an accident especially on a motorcycle your underwear will become a diaper , it will not matter how clean they were. And lady's if you wear a thong while riding...........You get the picture
Road Rash :
This is not limited to falling off your bike: Think before you ride behind a truck hauling pigs or cows or chickens or sheep......or bricks, lumber, stones ,gravel ....
Animals :
sheep are often known to be rather dumb. In the Bible the Christians are often alluded to as sheep or a flock , not sure of the connection However I do know deer aren't much smarter. They do not need a moving target to slam into, Stopping for them to cross the street means you now have become their challenge to jump over,They can clear a 6 foot high fence, Don't expect them to clear 4 feet of human being.
Helmets :
They are used to prolong the settlement of your estate. The folks who told you not to buy that bike will have to wait a little longer for you to die and leave them everything because the helmet kept your brain working while the rest of your mangled body rots.
Women:
You will meet the most awesome woman while on your bike. Right about the time you take your two up seat off and leave it sharing shelf space in the garage.
Pets :
They are awesome !! They don't have birthdays, anniversary, in-laws, They don't care about jewelry. If they bleed for a week they are going to die . You can give the neighbor a few bucks to look after them. The longer you are gone the happier they are to see you. They are glade with anybody you bring home. You can control the amount of times they give birth. They can't call 911 and they won't testify against you. When they get chubby they look cute. They don't require clothes.
Bikers and Poseurs :
They both ride very loud thundering motorcycles. One type of biker has a cool multi piece patch that might say where he is from , lots of tats and possibly a VERY young girlfriend. The poser wants the same and may have a few tats. Like the folks who go to Hollywood to be an actor , the poser may have a patch to , bought and not earned and wants to be discovered so he can be bad and have his chance to spend lots of time on the run or in jail. It is very important to be able to tell the difference between the two if you wish to make disparaging remarks , or offer a one finger salute.
T - Clocks:
If the little Lady is all happy about you buying a "Big " bike you know all you can afford and all she ask is for you to double your life insurance . you had better learn all about this thing called T-Clocks.
Riding Girlfriends :
A guy has few precious places to escape. Why would you want to share this with the tormentor ? When the subject comes up Kindly say you see no need for her to have a bike as there is no HWY between the kitchen and the bedroom. This will end the conversation about her getting a bike . there may be collateral damage to deal with ,but that is what the bike is for.. escape.
I have written most of theses, re written some and stole the rest....
If you push the left bar, the bike goes left.
If you push the right bar, the bike goes right.
That is, unless you keep pushing the right bar all the way, then you will probably go left while the bike swaps ends.
Crashing:
Remember riding isn't inherently dangerous...crashing is.
The Sidelines:
It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.
Fuel:
The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
The Rear Wheel:
The rear wheel is just a big fan used to keep the rider cool and his butt relaxed. If in doubt... watch. When it locks up or slides out you can actually see the rider start sweating and pucker marks are left on the seat.
Too Slow:
No one has ever hit something too slow.
Rides:
A 'good' ride is one you can walk away from.
A 'great' ride is one you can walk away from and use the bike again.
Getting Hit:
They can't hit you if you're not there.
Mistakes:
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Traction:
When traction is sparse, the probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of lean. Large angle of lean, small probability of survival and vice versa.
Your Brain:
Never let a motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't go five seconds earlier.
Fog:
Stay out of fog. The single red taillight you think is another rider ahead that you can catch, might be the red starboard light of a docked boat.
Parking:
Always try to keep the number of times you park the bike equal to the number of times you've ridden it.
Luck & Experience:
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Mirrors:
If all you can see in your mirrors is the direction you were previously traveling intermingled with sparks, and all you can hear is commotion from the passenger riding pillion; things are not at all as they should be.
Other Objects:
In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and plastic going dozens of miles per hour, and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for cars, trucks, walls and most animals. Draws don't count.
Judgment:
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
Going Forward:
It's always a good idea to keep the headlight end going forward as much as possible.
Looking:
Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
Laws:
Remember, gravity and centrifugal force are not just good ideas. They're laws not subject to repeal.
Clean Underwear:
" Make Sure you have on clean underwear in-case your in an accident" . This is something a Mom would say.
If your in an accident especially on a motorcycle your underwear will become a diaper , it will not matter how clean they were. And lady's if you wear a thong while riding...........You get the picture
Road Rash :
This is not limited to falling off your bike: Think before you ride behind a truck hauling pigs or cows or chickens or sheep......or bricks, lumber, stones ,gravel ....
Animals :
sheep are often known to be rather dumb. In the Bible the Christians are often alluded to as sheep or a flock , not sure of the connection However I do know deer aren't much smarter. They do not need a moving target to slam into, Stopping for them to cross the street means you now have become their challenge to jump over,They can clear a 6 foot high fence, Don't expect them to clear 4 feet of human being.
Helmets :
They are used to prolong the settlement of your estate. The folks who told you not to buy that bike will have to wait a little longer for you to die and leave them everything because the helmet kept your brain working while the rest of your mangled body rots.
Women:
You will meet the most awesome woman while on your bike. Right about the time you take your two up seat off and leave it sharing shelf space in the garage.
Pets :
They are awesome !! They don't have birthdays, anniversary, in-laws, They don't care about jewelry. If they bleed for a week they are going to die . You can give the neighbor a few bucks to look after them. The longer you are gone the happier they are to see you. They are glade with anybody you bring home. You can control the amount of times they give birth. They can't call 911 and they won't testify against you. When they get chubby they look cute. They don't require clothes.
Bikers and Poseurs :
They both ride very loud thundering motorcycles. One type of biker has a cool multi piece patch that might say where he is from , lots of tats and possibly a VERY young girlfriend. The poser wants the same and may have a few tats. Like the folks who go to Hollywood to be an actor , the poser may have a patch to , bought and not earned and wants to be discovered so he can be bad and have his chance to spend lots of time on the run or in jail. It is very important to be able to tell the difference between the two if you wish to make disparaging remarks , or offer a one finger salute.
T - Clocks:
If the little Lady is all happy about you buying a "Big " bike you know all you can afford and all she ask is for you to double your life insurance . you had better learn all about this thing called T-Clocks.
Riding Girlfriends :
A guy has few precious places to escape. Why would you want to share this with the tormentor ? When the subject comes up Kindly say you see no need for her to have a bike as there is no HWY between the kitchen and the bedroom. This will end the conversation about her getting a bike . there may be collateral damage to deal with ,but that is what the bike is for.. escape.
I have written most of theses, re written some and stole the rest....
The ones below are classic!
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