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**usa2acr** · 07-01-2011, 03:29 AM

Re: Thursdays Ponderisms

I like these they are good

**Stump** · 07-01-2011, 06:03 AM

Re: Thursdays Ponderisms

Never thought of things like that before, Heres one how come we drive on parkway and we park on a driveway?

**mikewithabike** · 07-01-2011, 03:43 PM

Re: Thursdays Ponderisms

And now, the answers:

can you cry under water?

Yes of course you can, but with the first sob you'll drown and die
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how important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Assassinations are politically motivated
Murder is a result of other motives
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why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

The extra penny covers the cost of your blurting out unsolicited thoughts, whereas the single penny is payment for the thought requested from you.
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once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

No. In Heaven you get a robe, some wings, really nice sandals, a gold harp and a cloud - but no beer
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why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Because round boxes would be too expensive, cutting into profits, and are harder to store
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what disease did cured ham actually have?

Swine flu?
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how is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Laziness... until recently we were in good enough shape to NOT NEED WHEELS ON LUGGAGE!!!
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why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

it is the sleep of innocence, free of stress, fear and bad dreams
(and you get to shit in your pants too)
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if a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

'cause lawyers desparately needing to be heard are STILL TALKING
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why are you in a movie, but you're on tv?

because I'm an actor - duh
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why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Alcohol
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why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

to squeeze in another patient consultation and get those billable hours up, up, up
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why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

there's nothing easily understood about women -
just forget it and focus on getting those items OFF her
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why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Not all human beings are decent - some like a little extra carbon with breakfast
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if jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

the other slaves like old jimmy's chit chat... the master cares, but he's gone away.
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if the professor on gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

the professor tried to fix the boat but as usual Gilligan destroyed the entire SS Minnow.
When he was done there was nothing left.
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why does goofy stand erect while pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Goofy was created as a human character, as opposed to Pluto, who was a pet, so he walked upright and had a speaking voice (first supplied by Colvig, and later by George Johnson, Bob Jackman, and Bill Farmer)
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if wiley e. Coyote had enough money to buy all that acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Mr. Coyote is an ACME employee and a beta tester - so he doesn't pay for anything
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if corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made
from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Baby oil is made from: Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate and Fragrance - it's called baby oil 'cause it's used on Babies
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if electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

sometimes, but usually it's not very sound
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do the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle little star have the same tune?

Yes - You can't ignore a great musical hook
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why did you just try singing the two songs above?

yeah... like you didn't
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why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

hemorrhoid is a compound of Greek elements: haimo- (blood), -rhea (flow) and -oid (looks like) - ew... gross

The word asteroid is Greek for "star-like," which is actually inaccurate in terms of the modern meaning of the word star. The International Astronomical Union uses the term minor planet, while some others prefer the term planetoid, meaning "planet-like."

Some hemorrhoids could by considered planet-like by some, so hence the confusion
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did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

That's because DOGS ARE STUPID

Have a great 4th!!

**Crackers2006** · 07-01-2011, 08:58 PM

Re: Thursdays Ponderisms

I like some of those answers, so good thinking outside the box.

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