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Boudreaux at the nudist colony...... Boudreaux joined a very exclusive nudist colony in Oklahoma. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area.
A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and Boudreaux immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?' Boudreaux replied, 'No, what do you mean?' She said, 'You must be new here.
Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, Boudreaux continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer Boudreaux. 'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'
The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer Boudreaux. Boudreaux staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500.00 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours.
You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.' 'Listen lady, I' m 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'
__________________________________________________ ______________________
When Beaudreaux left he decided he really needed a drink so he stopped at the first bar he saw, not knowing it was a lesbian bar. He immediately started hitting on a good looker sitting next to him at the bar.
The lady said she wasn't interested because she was a lesbian. Beaudreaux said he didn't care what her religion was he wanted to have sex wirh her.
She told him that being lesbian had nothing to do with religion so Beaudreaux said politics didn't matter either. She told him it had nothing to do with politics either so he asked her to explain what it was that lesbians liked to do.
She explained that she liked to pick up a beautiful girl, take her home, lay her down on the bed, take off her clothes and eat her p*ssy.
Beaudreaux apoligized and left to find another bar. He walked into another place and told the bartender "Hey cher, pass me a hurricane please" The bartender said From the way you talk, you must be a Cajun.
Beaudreaux said Well I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
__________________________________________________ _____________
Pierre and Boudreaux wanted to go hunting, but didn't have a place to hunt.
Pierre said, "The old farmer down the road is a friend of mine. He's so old, that he can't even get out into his fields anymore. I'll bet he would let us hunt there."
When they got there, Pierre told Boudreaux that he would go into the house, and ask for permission to hunt on the farmer's land. Pierre went into the house, and his friend, the old farmer said, "That's all right with me, but could I get you to do me a small favor in return?"
The farmer said, "Mud Bug, my old hunting dog is so old, he is in constant agony. I need to put him out if his misery, but I just don't have the heart. Before you take to my fields, could you please use your gun and do it for me? He's in the front yard, he's in so much pain, he can't even make it into the house any more."
Pierre said that he would help the old farmer, and went out into the yard, to tell Boudreaux that they could hunt there.
As he was walking down the front steps, he got an idea for a joke that would scare Boudreaux.
When Boudreaux said, "Did he tell us we could hunt on his land?", Pierre, for a joke, said, "No, that's the meanest old farmer I've EVER met -- I'll show HIM!!" Then he shot the old dog, and said, "That'll show him."
Boudreaux ran to the farmer's barn, and Pierre fell on the ground, laughing, because he scared Boudreaux enough to run away and hide.
Suddenly, Pierre heard, "BLAM......BLAM." Then Boudreaux ran out of the barn, and shouted to Pierre, "O.K., I got the horse and cow... Now, let's get out of here."
__________________________________________________ ____________
Quibodeaux, Thibodeaux and Boudreaux were sitting in a boat on a very cloudy day fishing. They had been fishing a good while when the sky suddenly opened up just above them and a ray of light shined down directly on the front of the boat. It spooked them and they started to get nervous.
All of a sudden, they heard a voice from up above. "This is the Lord." They all looked at one another and begin saying, "I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing." The Lord said, "Don't get nervous. I'm not here to pass judgment on you, I only want to grant each of you one healing wish."
They all calmed down and Quibodeaux stood up in the boat. "As you already know Lord, I've been having this crick in the back of my neck for the past ten years and if you were to grant me a healing wish, that would be it."
The Lord waved his hand and Quibodeaux started moving his neck freely. "Mais, that feels good. Thank you Lord, thank you," and he sat down. Thibodeaux stood up next. "You know Lord, that bum leg I've been having for the past fifteen years, you know how bad I limp, if you were to grant me one wish, that would be it." The Lord waved his hand and Thibodeaux immediately felt the limp leave his leg. "Oh thank you Lord, oh thank you, thank you."
Before Thibodeaux could sit down, there was a big splash behind the boat. Both Quibodeaux and Thibodeaux looked behind themselves and see Boudreaux swimming away from the boat as fast as he could. Thibodeaux shouted, "Boudreaux, where you going?
The Lord is not here to pass judgment on you, he's here to grant you a healing wish. You know that bad back of yours, he can heal it for you right here and now." Boudreaux hollered back, not missing a swim stride, "No, no, I don't want the Lord to heal me, I'll lose my disability check.
__________________________________________________ _______
When Boudreaux got home yesterday, Clotile ran out to him saying, "The car got water in the carburetor!"
"How you know that, you?"
"Cause it's parked in the Bayou!"
__________________________________________________ _____
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux had bought their own airline.
On their first flight from Lafayette to Jamaica, they ran into motor trouble. Thibodeaux came on the speaker and said, "We are going to have to make an emergency crash landing.
We are over the ocean so all of you that can swim please move to the left side of the plane, and all of you that can't swim, please move to the right side.
As soon as the plane hits the water I want all of the people on the left to swim for shore.
All of you on the right, well, Captain Boudreaux and I would like to thank you for flying Cajun Airlines.
__________________________________________________ _________
One day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went to the casinos.
Boudreaux wandered away for a little while, then when he returned he asked Thibodeaux to come and see this slot machine that pays really well.
When Thibodeaux walked over there he noticed that Boudreaux had been putting dollar bills in the change machine and not a slot machine.
He thought he was winning when really he was only getting change for his dollar.
__________________________________________________ _________
One day Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux and asked him why he was so bruised up.
Thibodeaux replied that he had been riding a bull, and his foot got stuck when he fell off.
The bull kept dragging him around until the Wal-Mart manager came and unplugged it.
__________________________________________________ ________
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were taking a trip to Baton Rouge.
On their way they saw a sign that said Baton Rouge Left.
So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went home.
__________________________________________________ __________
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were sitting on Boudreaux's porch.
Boudreaux was holding his new puppy.
It had the face of a chow, the body of a weenie dog, and the hair of a poodle.
Thibodeaux couldn't resist any longer.
He asked Boudreaux, "Mais, Boudreaux, what kind of thing is that?"
Boudreaux said, "It's a somma dog."
Thibodeaux said, "A somma dog?"
Boudreaux says, "Mais yeah, somma this and somma dat."
__________________________________________________ ____________
One day Boudreaux went to the car dealership, he brought his best friend Thibodeaux along.
He decide to test drive his new car first.
So they were going down I-10 and Boudreaux told Thibodeaux to climb on to the trunk and see if his blinkers worked.
So Thibodeaux climbed to the back and Boudreaux said "Check the left one first!," and then he turned it on. Thibodeaux said "Mais, Yes. Mais, No."
__________________________________________________ ___________
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux take their first flight ever.
The plane takes off and a little while passes and the captain comes on the intercom and says there will be a 30 minute delay because one of the engines blew.
The engine is repaired and the plane takes flight again. Some more time passes and the captain comes on the intercom again and says that another engine has blown and there would be an hour delay this time.
The engine is fixed and the plane takes off again. A little while later the captain comes on the intercom one more time and says there will be another half an hour delay because a third engine has broken.
Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux, "Mais, if that fourth engine goes out, we gonna be stuck up here forever."
__________________________________________________ ___
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux decided to go fishing one morning at the pond in back of Boudreaux's house.
It was dark and when they reached the pond they realized they wanted to cross to the other side. But they couldn't walk around and had no boat or pirogue to cross in.
Thibodeaux turned to Boudreaux and said, "Mais Boudreaux, how in the heck we gonna get across." Boudreaux said, "No problem, I'm gonna shine this here flashlight across the water and you gonna walk on the beam of light all the way across.
" Thibodeaux then says, "Mais, Boudreaux, you must think I'm stupid or something, cause just when I get halfway across you gonna turn off the light."
__________________________________________________ ________
One day, Boudreaux and Clotile were riding their boat at Bayou Benoit when they hit a sunken log and the boat overturned.
Clotile didn't have a life jacket on, and she drowned. The sheriff and a bunch of neighbors came by to try to find her, but they didn't have any luck.
A week passed and Thibodeaux knocked on Boudreaux's front door. "Boudreaux, I have some good news and some bad news for you."
"Give me the bad news first."
"Well, the bad news is that we found Clotile. She drowned. We so sorry for you."
"Well go on, what is the good news?"
"The good new is--when we pull her up, we fill two sacks of big blue point crab."
"Mais, where you put her body?"
"Well, Boudreaux. De first time we did so good with the crabs, we decided to leave her in the water one more day."
__________________________________________________ ____________
One day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went to a job interview, da boss came out of his office and gave them a test. Well, it took about two hours to finish the test.
The boss picked them up and graded them. When he finished, he came back out of his office and said, "Ya'll both did very well and passed the test. In fact ya'll scored the same grade."
Then he told Boudreaux he got the job. All of a sudden Thibodeaux jumped up and said, "Well wait, if we both scored the same grade, them why does Boudreaux get the job?"
Then the boss said, "Well because of your answers, for example, on number 25, Boudreaux wrote, 'I don't know,' and you wrote, 'me either.'"
A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and Boudreaux immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?' Boudreaux replied, 'No, what do you mean?' She said, 'You must be new here.
Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, Boudreaux continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer Boudreaux. 'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'
The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer Boudreaux. Boudreaux staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500.00 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours.
You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.' 'Listen lady, I' m 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'
__________________________________________________ ______________________
When Beaudreaux left he decided he really needed a drink so he stopped at the first bar he saw, not knowing it was a lesbian bar. He immediately started hitting on a good looker sitting next to him at the bar.
The lady said she wasn't interested because she was a lesbian. Beaudreaux said he didn't care what her religion was he wanted to have sex wirh her.
She told him that being lesbian had nothing to do with religion so Beaudreaux said politics didn't matter either. She told him it had nothing to do with politics either so he asked her to explain what it was that lesbians liked to do.
She explained that she liked to pick up a beautiful girl, take her home, lay her down on the bed, take off her clothes and eat her p*ssy.
Beaudreaux apoligized and left to find another bar. He walked into another place and told the bartender "Hey cher, pass me a hurricane please" The bartender said From the way you talk, you must be a Cajun.
Beaudreaux said Well I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
__________________________________________________ _____________
Pierre and Boudreaux wanted to go hunting, but didn't have a place to hunt.
Pierre said, "The old farmer down the road is a friend of mine. He's so old, that he can't even get out into his fields anymore. I'll bet he would let us hunt there."
When they got there, Pierre told Boudreaux that he would go into the house, and ask for permission to hunt on the farmer's land. Pierre went into the house, and his friend, the old farmer said, "That's all right with me, but could I get you to do me a small favor in return?"
The farmer said, "Mud Bug, my old hunting dog is so old, he is in constant agony. I need to put him out if his misery, but I just don't have the heart. Before you take to my fields, could you please use your gun and do it for me? He's in the front yard, he's in so much pain, he can't even make it into the house any more."
Pierre said that he would help the old farmer, and went out into the yard, to tell Boudreaux that they could hunt there.
As he was walking down the front steps, he got an idea for a joke that would scare Boudreaux.
When Boudreaux said, "Did he tell us we could hunt on his land?", Pierre, for a joke, said, "No, that's the meanest old farmer I've EVER met -- I'll show HIM!!" Then he shot the old dog, and said, "That'll show him."
Boudreaux ran to the farmer's barn, and Pierre fell on the ground, laughing, because he scared Boudreaux enough to run away and hide.
Suddenly, Pierre heard, "BLAM......BLAM." Then Boudreaux ran out of the barn, and shouted to Pierre, "O.K., I got the horse and cow... Now, let's get out of here."
__________________________________________________ ____________
Quibodeaux, Thibodeaux and Boudreaux were sitting in a boat on a very cloudy day fishing. They had been fishing a good while when the sky suddenly opened up just above them and a ray of light shined down directly on the front of the boat. It spooked them and they started to get nervous.
All of a sudden, they heard a voice from up above. "This is the Lord." They all looked at one another and begin saying, "I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing." The Lord said, "Don't get nervous. I'm not here to pass judgment on you, I only want to grant each of you one healing wish."
They all calmed down and Quibodeaux stood up in the boat. "As you already know Lord, I've been having this crick in the back of my neck for the past ten years and if you were to grant me a healing wish, that would be it."
The Lord waved his hand and Quibodeaux started moving his neck freely. "Mais, that feels good. Thank you Lord, thank you," and he sat down. Thibodeaux stood up next. "You know Lord, that bum leg I've been having for the past fifteen years, you know how bad I limp, if you were to grant me one wish, that would be it." The Lord waved his hand and Thibodeaux immediately felt the limp leave his leg. "Oh thank you Lord, oh thank you, thank you."
Before Thibodeaux could sit down, there was a big splash behind the boat. Both Quibodeaux and Thibodeaux looked behind themselves and see Boudreaux swimming away from the boat as fast as he could. Thibodeaux shouted, "Boudreaux, where you going?
The Lord is not here to pass judgment on you, he's here to grant you a healing wish. You know that bad back of yours, he can heal it for you right here and now." Boudreaux hollered back, not missing a swim stride, "No, no, I don't want the Lord to heal me, I'll lose my disability check.
__________________________________________________ _______
When Boudreaux got home yesterday, Clotile ran out to him saying, "The car got water in the carburetor!"
"How you know that, you?"
"Cause it's parked in the Bayou!"
__________________________________________________ _____
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux had bought their own airline.
On their first flight from Lafayette to Jamaica, they ran into motor trouble. Thibodeaux came on the speaker and said, "We are going to have to make an emergency crash landing.
We are over the ocean so all of you that can swim please move to the left side of the plane, and all of you that can't swim, please move to the right side.
As soon as the plane hits the water I want all of the people on the left to swim for shore.
All of you on the right, well, Captain Boudreaux and I would like to thank you for flying Cajun Airlines.
__________________________________________________ _________
One day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went to the casinos.
Boudreaux wandered away for a little while, then when he returned he asked Thibodeaux to come and see this slot machine that pays really well.
When Thibodeaux walked over there he noticed that Boudreaux had been putting dollar bills in the change machine and not a slot machine.
He thought he was winning when really he was only getting change for his dollar.
__________________________________________________ _________
One day Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux and asked him why he was so bruised up.
Thibodeaux replied that he had been riding a bull, and his foot got stuck when he fell off.
The bull kept dragging him around until the Wal-Mart manager came and unplugged it.
__________________________________________________ ________
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were taking a trip to Baton Rouge.
On their way they saw a sign that said Baton Rouge Left.
So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went home.
__________________________________________________ __________
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were sitting on Boudreaux's porch.
Boudreaux was holding his new puppy.
It had the face of a chow, the body of a weenie dog, and the hair of a poodle.
Thibodeaux couldn't resist any longer.
He asked Boudreaux, "Mais, Boudreaux, what kind of thing is that?"
Boudreaux said, "It's a somma dog."
Thibodeaux said, "A somma dog?"
Boudreaux says, "Mais yeah, somma this and somma dat."
__________________________________________________ ____________
One day Boudreaux went to the car dealership, he brought his best friend Thibodeaux along.
He decide to test drive his new car first.
So they were going down I-10 and Boudreaux told Thibodeaux to climb on to the trunk and see if his blinkers worked.
So Thibodeaux climbed to the back and Boudreaux said "Check the left one first!," and then he turned it on. Thibodeaux said "Mais, Yes. Mais, No."
__________________________________________________ ___________
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux take their first flight ever.
The plane takes off and a little while passes and the captain comes on the intercom and says there will be a 30 minute delay because one of the engines blew.
The engine is repaired and the plane takes flight again. Some more time passes and the captain comes on the intercom again and says that another engine has blown and there would be an hour delay this time.
The engine is fixed and the plane takes off again. A little while later the captain comes on the intercom one more time and says there will be another half an hour delay because a third engine has broken.
Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux, "Mais, if that fourth engine goes out, we gonna be stuck up here forever."
__________________________________________________ ___
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux decided to go fishing one morning at the pond in back of Boudreaux's house.
It was dark and when they reached the pond they realized they wanted to cross to the other side. But they couldn't walk around and had no boat or pirogue to cross in.
Thibodeaux turned to Boudreaux and said, "Mais Boudreaux, how in the heck we gonna get across." Boudreaux said, "No problem, I'm gonna shine this here flashlight across the water and you gonna walk on the beam of light all the way across.
" Thibodeaux then says, "Mais, Boudreaux, you must think I'm stupid or something, cause just when I get halfway across you gonna turn off the light."
__________________________________________________ ________
One day, Boudreaux and Clotile were riding their boat at Bayou Benoit when they hit a sunken log and the boat overturned.
Clotile didn't have a life jacket on, and she drowned. The sheriff and a bunch of neighbors came by to try to find her, but they didn't have any luck.
A week passed and Thibodeaux knocked on Boudreaux's front door. "Boudreaux, I have some good news and some bad news for you."
"Give me the bad news first."
"Well, the bad news is that we found Clotile. She drowned. We so sorry for you."
"Well go on, what is the good news?"
"The good new is--when we pull her up, we fill two sacks of big blue point crab."
"Mais, where you put her body?"
"Well, Boudreaux. De first time we did so good with the crabs, we decided to leave her in the water one more day."
__________________________________________________ ____________
One day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went to a job interview, da boss came out of his office and gave them a test. Well, it took about two hours to finish the test.
The boss picked them up and graded them. When he finished, he came back out of his office and said, "Ya'll both did very well and passed the test. In fact ya'll scored the same grade."
Then he told Boudreaux he got the job. All of a sudden Thibodeaux jumped up and said, "Well wait, if we both scored the same grade, them why does Boudreaux get the job?"
Then the boss said, "Well because of your answers, for example, on number 25, Boudreaux wrote, 'I don't know,' and you wrote, 'me either.'"