Dumb awards....

[Aquar1234]

Re: Dumb awards....

http://www.edmontonsun.com/2013/04/1...-going-264-kmh

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

That's crazy!!!! 164 MPH what a nut!!

[ggale]

Re: Dumb awards....

I was at the local ER one night many years ago way past midnight with an bad ear infection.. I could tell you how far my ear goes in my head from the pain. OK I am waiting for the Doc when 2 of them are cracking up about the ones last case. I mean they had tears in there eyes from this one.. Doc A is telling Doc B that some old guy hobbles in to the ER and says he has a rectal problem. the nurse ask " what is the problem?" and he just turns around a drops his shorts -- to her surprise his entire rectum area has a soft glow of light.!! "now that is some thing we do not see every day" was the doc's comment to start with... and then went on as to say "I had to get my sun glasses out of my car because when we got him ready to remove the item a beam of light was shining out the back side when we spread things apart and it was showing on the far wall.! I could not see what I had to remove.. to much light !!" turned out to be a "mag flash light" that was still on.. old guy said a drinking bud-die did that to him.. some buddie... LOL

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

Been a few days so here you go for a few more:

Father And Son Pull AK-47 In Dispute Over Chicken Wings

After realizing they left a drive-thru without their chicken wings, a father and son drove back to their local Memphis fast food restaurant and pointed an AK-47 at a cashier.

Antonius Hart Sr. and Antonius Hart Jr. left Pirtle’s Chicken without realizing that their wings were missing. They then drove back to the restaurant and demanded extra chicken because they had been forced to make a return trip.

At some point during the interaction, an AK-47 was pulled out. After seeing the gun, a restaurant worker called the police.

Police arrived on the scene and recovered the gun along with 24 live rounds of ammo.

They have since charged 45-year-old Hart Sr. with assault and 19-year-old Hart Jr. with the facilitation of a felony, according to Metro.

Restaurant customers shared their thoughts about the incident.

“I guess in this area, people don’t play about their food,” said Courtney Marable.

Tonya McGraw said that the Harts’ actions were “crazy,” but that they might lead to more emphasis being placed on customer service.

“Next time they better get them wings right,” she said.

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

Woman drives car through front doors of department store

A woman who was getting a few tips from her pastor prior to testing Thursday to restore her driver's license got the pedals mixed up and drove a car through the front doors of a department store, officials said.


The woman, Norma Joan Brennan, 79 today, and her passenger, the Rev. Kevin Holsapple, both of Crystal River, each received citations, hers for driving while license is suspended or revoked and his for allowing an unlicensed driver to drive his Mercury Grand Marquis.


Holsapple told Ocala Police Department officers they were in the parking lot at Target off Southwest College Road and that while Brennan was adjusting the seat and he was giving her a few pointers, she pressed the gas pedal instead of the brake pedal and drove through the building's front doors.

Holsapple is the pastor at St. Anne's Church in Crystal River, where Brennan is a member.

Brennan told police she had been a licensed driver for 50 years before her license was suspended for a medical reason, which she did not disclose.

Holsapple said he was accompanying Brennan to the driver's license center in Ocala so she could test to have her license restored.

An Ocala Fire Rescue official said when they arrived on scene, the car was inside the building near where the shopping carts are located and there was debris on top of the vehicle. He said they had to remove the metal post between the front doors in order to back the car out of the store.

Neither Brennan nor Holsapple were injured, and no store employees or customers were harmed.

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

OWWW OHHHH OWWWW!!!

Police: Fla. teen accidentally shoots off his penis and testicle

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A teenager is recovering after police say he shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought.

It happened Thursday morning at a home on the 200 block of Verada Street in Port St. Lucie.

Police say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.

Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.

Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party.

While police were investigating at the home where it happened, they discovered marijuana in the house. That led to the arrest of the homeowner Joseph Lamar James, 22, on drug charges.

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

Bizarre email exchange between state senator and displeased constituent

When an unsolicited email arrives, most people hit delete and move on with their lives. Not Bart Cohn.
The Wildwood, Mo., resident received a newsletter from Brian Nieves, a Republican member of the Missouri Senate with whom Cohn does not see eye to eye on the issues. According to River Front Times, which originally reported the story, Cohn wrote a seven-word reply to Nieves' newsletter. "Take me off your mailing list. Freak."
And thus began a wackadoo exchange of insults between Cohn and Nieves, all of which were forwarded by Cohn to River Front Times.
After Cohn's tersely worded response, Nieves issued a retort:
Who are you? Is there something wrong with you? Are you incapable of communicating in a way that common, decent people do?
Tell me this, how did you ever even get on MY Distribution list?
Cohn fired back:
Remove me from your list. I despise you.
Nieves then wrote this:
Tell me who you are and how you ever got on my list. I don't take we'll to some troll sneaking on to my distribution list.
Things get weird(er). From Cohn:
I don't care what you take well to. Take me off your list. I don't know how I got on your list. And I don't sneak. I'll tell you to your face I think you're a freak. Now act like a big boy, senator, and remove me from your list as I've requested. And stop harassing me or I'll make an issue of it.
Nieves apparently took issue with the word "issue." He wrote:
Explain "issue"
Are you threatening an elected official? I'm sure your very Big & Bad & Tuff.
The ONE and ONLY way for you to have gotten on my list is by YOU having communicated with me via email. I guess your the type who wants to be able to throw something my way but not hear back?
You'll be removed but be Very Careful to NEVER Threaten me! Also, don't ever send anything to this email address again because every time you do, you automatically get put back on the distribution list. :-)
Think that's the end? Nope. Cohn responded with more insults:
I didn't threaten anyone, you tool. You are such a douchetard it's not even funny. Now go do some work on your insane conspiracy theories that everyone laughs about behind your back. You're a joke!
To which Nieves wrote:
Wow. Your communications are so thought provoking, well written, and intelligent. Perhaps you secretly want to be on my distribution list because every time you send me a message, your email is recaptured and put on my distribution list. I'm tiring of taking you off every time you email me AGAIN so unless you are in love with me or have some other sort of sick obsession with me (sorry, I'm straight as an arrow) you should probably stop emailing me so that you don't keep getting put back on the list. Should I type these instructions slower? Are you having a hard time understanding? BTW - I archive ALL questionable emails like yours in case there's ever any doubt about who got ugly first. Go back to the grade school playground where people you can successfully bully and out smart are playing cuz junior... You are way out of your league with me.
Cohn apparently did not respond. But Nieves couldn't resist writing one more email and referencing a photo of Cohn from Facebook.
BTW... You really don't look good with a beard.
In a comment posted on the River Front Times story, a person identified as Cohn expressed some regret for his part in the exchange.
I shouldn't have called him names. But I'd just had enough of him. He was spamming me left and right with his insane newsletters, I'd just had surgery, and I couldn't take it anymore. I was shocked he wrote me back immediately, I had expected him just to remove me from his distribution list. And then for him to write me back 5 more times after that... I'll let the public be the judge of what went down between us.
Messages seeking comment from Nieves were not immediately returned.

[Aquar1234]

Re: Dumb awards....

OWWW OHHHH OWWWW!!!

Police: Fla. teen accidentally shoots off his penis and testicle

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A teenager is recovering after police say he shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought.

It happened Thursday morning at a home on the 200 block of Verada Street in Port St. Lucie.

Police say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.

Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.

Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party.

While police were investigating at the home where it happened, they discovered marijuana in the house. That led to the arrest of the homeowner Joseph Lamar James, 22, on drug charges.

I feel like passing out now!

[Racinfan101]

Re: Dumb awards....

OWWW OHHHH OWWWW!!!

Police: Fla. teen accidentally shoots off his penis and testicle

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A teenager is recovering after police say he shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought.

It happened Thursday morning at a home on the 200 block of Verada Street in Port St. Lucie.

Police say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.

Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.

Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party.

While police were investigating at the home where it happened, they discovered marijuana in the house. That led to the arrest of the homeowner Joseph Lamar James, 22, on drug charges.

Patrick considering your recent purchase just PLEASE be careful okay!!

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

HAHAHHA!!! Oh yeah!!

[ggale]

Re: Dumb awards....

To add to that some where down south there, a guy puts a 22 cal bullet in his trucks fuse holder to make some thing work...[cig lighter?] any ways the guy is driving down the road and [you got it] BANG!! hits him in the penis...... Local cops found him and had to find out why he was shot -- they found the shell casing still in the fuse box.

[fishgoblue]

Re: Dumb awards....

OWWW OHHHH OWWWW!!!

Police: Fla. teen accidentally shoots off his penis and testicle

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A teenager is recovering after police say he shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought.

It happened Thursday morning at a home on the 200 block of Verada Street in Port St. Lucie.

Police say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.

Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.

Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party.

While police were investigating at the home where it happened, they discovered marijuana in the house. That led to the arrest of the homeowner Joseph Lamar James, 22, on drug charges.

I wonder how high this idiot was.

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

Alleged would-be burglars thwarted when resident finds them inside, and they leave cell phone behind

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. - Juneem Barnes was taking a nap Thursday morning, when loud noises woke him up in his Port St. Lucie home. Police said those sounds were from would-be burglars.

"They were just making a lot of noise, and I was half-asleep," Barnes recalled. "Then they came in my room."

Port St. Lucie police say two teenagers had broken in and started packing up items to steal. At first, Barnes thought the alleged thieves were friends of his roommate, Devon Garcia.

"I thought it was him and his friends, just chilling," said Barnes. "But when they came in my room, they started running, and I'm like, why are they running? So I got up, and obviously they were trying to steal stuff out the house."

Barnes said he found evidence of the botched burglary.

"This window was wide open," he said, showing it. "They broke in it. The door is kind of messed up now."

Police said the teens did run, but not before leaving behind a cell phone in Garcia's room.

"I found their cell phone, and it wasn't locked," said Garcia. "So I started going through it to see the calls, and stuff like that."

When Garcia saw a phone number titled 'MOM,' he called the number. Port St. Lucie police spoke with one of the teen's mother, who helped lead them to make the arrests.

Police said the teenagers stole two bicycles at Swan Park, before attempting to burglarize Barnes' home.

As for Barnes, he's glad nothing of his was stolen, and he's even more glad he wasn't scheduled for work until later.

"If I had gone to work, they probably would have gotten away," said Barnes. "But I didn't go to work until 11."

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

Confused driver gets stuck in bike lane

PORTLAND -- A confused driver took a wrong turn Sunday morning and ended up in the center bike lane on the Interstate 205 bridge between Oregon and Washington.
At around 11 a.m., police stopped to help the driver who couldn't get out of the partitioned off lane near Government Island that sits between the north and southbound lanes of the bridge.
Authorities decided the best thing to do was walk the car to the Oregon side. One northbound lane was closed for about an hour, but traffic was not significantly affected. Some bikers, however, had trouble getting around the car.
The driver was not cited.
Racer Steve Baden came across the woman as he and a partner were crossing the bridge and called 911. He said the driver, realizing her mistake, was trying to drive to the Oregon side.
He could not believe the driver was not cited, and that this was not the first time a driver had entered the bikepath from the Washington side. Safety procedures need to be changed on that end of the bridge, he said.

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Dumb awards....

Chicago man charged with biting off another man's ear

A 28-year-old man is charged with breaking into a suburban Chicago home and biting off another man's ear during an argument on Friday, according to the Cook County Sheriff’s Office.
Richard Vody, of Justice, Ill., forced his way into the victim’s home early Friday and, during a heated dispute, leaned in and bit off half of the 26-year-old’s right ear, according to police. Authorities said the victim’s girlfriend also lived in the home and all three knew each other.
Firefighters responded to the scene and took the victim to an area hospital for treatment. With the help of Chicago police canine units, the missing part of the man’s ear was found Saturday near the home.
Vody is charged with home invasion, aggravated battery and domestic battery, according to a press release from the Cook County Sheriff’s Office.
He is currently out on $250,000 bond, and is scheduled to appear in court on Tuesday.