Bad joke thread....

[DaBull]

Re: Bad joke thread....

a guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his un-holstered pistol and
yelled, "i have a .45 colt with an eight shot clip and i want to know
who's been sleeping with my wife."

a voice from the back of the room called out, "you don't have enough ammo!"

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

LOL!!! Better be careful he may have a second magazine in his pocket!

[Budro]

Re: Bad joke thread....

It would be a lot easier & cheaper to just shoot the wife.

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

With what's going on even jokes may be looked at now days. but on the other hand -- it's a good one.

[peegh]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Ho Chow calls in to work and say, 'Hey I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt, I no come work'.

The boss says, 'You know something Ho Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.'

Two hours later Ho Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and I feel great. Be at work soon............ You got nice house.'

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Bob, a middle-aged Canadian tourist on his first time in Lincoln, Nebraska, locates the red light district and enters a large brothel.

The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!

Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, No!" and walks quickly away!

The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with it.

She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola looks a bit tired, but she has never said no and it doesn't seem likely that anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Bob.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" smacks him as hard as she can and literally runs away!

Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she did it for many years before she got into management. She's sure she has said yes at one time or another to everything a man could possibly ask for. The challenge is irresistible.

She just has to find out what this man has wanted that has made her girls so angry. And she sees a chance she can't pass up to show off to her employees how good she was at what they do.

So she goes over to Bob and says that she's the best in the house and she is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic a bit, giggle a bit, and drink a little, and she sits in his lap. And Bob leans forward and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Canadian dollars?"

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

LOL!!! a couple of BAD ones!! Ba Dop Bump!

[Big D]

Re: Bad joke thread....

these crack me up

The Best Of The Worst Country-western Song Titles
1 - Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
2 - Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
3 - Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
4 - Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
5 - How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
6 - How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
7 - I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
8 - I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
9 - I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
10 - I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
11 - I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
12 - I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
13 - I Wanna Whip Your Cow
14 - I Would Have Writ You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
15 - I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
16 - I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
17 - I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
18 - I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
19 - I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
20 - I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

You know I am surprised some of those have not been used, and in fact Johnny Paycheck did the "The Only Hell My Mama Ever Raised" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBsXywDAmh0

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

ROFL!!! Love it!!

[putz]

Re: Bad joke thread....

How many dead hookers does it take to change a basement light???

Not 5 my basement is still dark!!!!

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

oh yeah definitely a bad one

[slickandrews]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Not really a joke, but funny in a twisted sort of way...

Well other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

(I know, I know... Go to my room, huh? Kathy tells me that all the time)

CHEERS!
Slick

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

LOL!!!