Bad joke thread....

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

I will let Mattie see that her self.. funny but if I say "check this out she may not see the humor of it. "

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Glen, you are already guilty by association

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Guilty as charged. Lol.

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

The Will
Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.""
My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end.""
My son, "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says,
"Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property ? .... the asshole has a paper route!"

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Ha!! I got a feeling some folks stopped getting their paper!

[mcssls]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ..

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me up."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow.

Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea.
I swished and swished,and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Wonder what she did to the doctor after that???? LOL!

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

OOOOOooooo ! that's a low blow. but it works

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Rod and Jimmy, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Rod didn't show up. Jimmy didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something..
But after Rod hadn't shown up for a week or so, Jimmy really got worried.


However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Jimmy didn't know where Rod lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Jimmy figured he had seen the last of Rod, but one day, Jimmy approached the park and--lo and behold!--there sat Rod!
Jimmy was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then he said, 'For crying out loud Rod, what in the world happened to you?'

Rod replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Jimmy. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Rod said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'



'Yeah,' said Jimmy, 'I remember her. What about her?

'Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.

[Ice Cube]

Re: Bad joke thread....

At 89yo 30-days could be a life sentence.

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

I could see my Dad doing the same thing!

[InjunThunder]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Two Irishmen are setting in a small pub when Mick bragged to Sean,"You know I've slept with every woman in this town except me mother and me sister."Well," Sean replied,"Between me and you we got 'em all !"

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

AND then the fight started!!

[Voyager Convert]

If two Vegans have an argument, is it still considered "beef"?

[DaBull]

Re: Bad joke thread....

budda bump bump....