Bad joke thread....

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Me thinks it was an "WHAT?" and him jumping back that kind of "pushed him off the bridge" LOL

[wanderer5210]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A man received the following text from his neighbor:





I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I


have been tapping into your wife, day and night when you're not around. In






fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I


can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest


apology with my promise that it won't happen again.









The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and


without a word, shot his wife and killed her.


A few moments later, a second text came in:





Bloody autocorrect. Sorry, I meant "wifi", not "wife".

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

I heard all about that incident on the Murray Baker Bridge. Talk in Central IL is that Big George has never been the same!!

As for the second, I nearly spit my coffee on that one!

[Deacon Jim]

Re: Bad joke thread....

man goes into the doctors office
he says doctor I'm so fat I can't see my privates what can I do
the doctor looks at him and says diet
the man looking confused says what color

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

groan... ! ha ha ha

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Ha!!!!!!!

[DaBull]

Re: Bad joke thread....

that was bad..............

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Saw this on another forum and thought I would share it

THE HORTH WHITHPERER


A bloke calls his mate, the horse breeder, and says
he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.
His mate asks, 'How will I recognize him?'
'That's easy; he's a dwarf with a speech impediment.'
So, the dwarf shows up, and the breeder asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
'A female horth.'
So he shows him a prized filly.
'Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?'
So the breeder picks up the dwarf and he
gives the horse's eyes the once over.
'Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?'
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.
'Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?'
The breeder is getting pretty ticked off by this point,
but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
'Nice mouf, can I see her twat?'
Totally mad at this point, the breeder grabs him under
his arms and rams the dwarf's head up the horse's fanny,
pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.
'Perhapth I should rephrase that.
Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Bahahahahaha... good one.

[RuaphuNZ]

LMFAO, hahahahahaha nice one


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

DOH!!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!

[Steammaker]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Ouch.....

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.
"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.
He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice again.
...“Hey mister! Sweet shoes!”
Again, he looks around, sees nothing but a bartender who is busy attending to other customers. Shaking his head, he sips once more.
“Hey mister! Cool shirt!”
He puts down his drink, frustrated at this phantom voice, and signals to the bartender, who comes over.
“Hey barkeep,” he begins, “what is that high-pitched voice I keep hearing?”
“Oh, those are the peanuts,” he replies. “They’re complimentary.”

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Good one. Ha ha ha ha .

[Steammaker]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire exactly where the heart would be on a woman.
The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Gravity strikes again!!!