Bad joke thread....

[Kickstand1]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Arghhh! The visual!

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

"Dang, I missed" LOL

[ChrisDrouillard]

Re: Bad joke thread....

HARASSMENT

Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.
He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, the woman can't stand it any more.
She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.

The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

"It's Frank, the midget."

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Poor Frank should have known better!

[Steammaker]

Re: Bad joke thread....

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

sound's like Frank is getting the short end of this one.

[Steammaker]

Re: Bad joke thread....

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough(they could not afford a larger double wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then h...old the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand. Oh My....

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Oh My!! I suppose that would do the trick!!

[DaveDownSouth]

Re: Bad joke thread....

, you forgot to mention he yelled Roll Tide as the can went off!!

[InjunThunder]

Re: Bad joke thread....

I'm thinkin it was an Auburn fan.....LoL

[Kickstand1]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A couple was golfing the other day on a very, very, exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be careful where you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows; it will cost us a fortune to fix them."

The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let’s go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost us."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer.

A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that." the husband replied.

"No, actually I want to thank you. I am a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You have released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I will give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Ok, great!" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem, it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife.

"I want a house in every country in the world." she said.

"Consider it done," the genie replied.

"And what is your wish, genie?" the husband said.

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sexx with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care."

The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband, anyway?"

"32," she replied.

"And he still believes in genies? That's amazing."

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Hahahahahahahaha!!! Wait a minute though...there is not such thing as genies?

[InjunThunder]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."
Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.
"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.
That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".
The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing."

[Kickstand1]

Re: Bad joke thread....

The ultimate salesman!

[fishgoblue]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Now that is a salesmen.