Bad joke thread....

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

oooo loved all of them....

[fishgoblue]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Everyone at the party felt mary....so Mary left.

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

DIVORCE vs. MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the
pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes,
and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist
asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have
mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against
the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail!
All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not!
You CAN NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell
me you had a prescription"

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A man was cheating on his wife and she found out. So she decided she was going to cut it off. She went after him and missed and stabbed him in the leg. The police came and arrested her and brought before the judge. The charge was.......... A missed-a-wiener!

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A man was cheating on his wife and she found out. So she decided she was going to cut it off. She went after him and missed and stabbed him in the leg. The police came and arrested her and brought before the judge. The charge was.......... A missed-a-wiener!

Yep thats a bad joke!

[mitt]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Man, I'm never ordering anchovies again...

[jcoomer]

Re: Bad joke thread....

The Bathtub Test


It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a man asked the Director what standard they used to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the man. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'







'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?'

[Slicks]

Re: Bad joke thread....

LOL... Well, I guess I'll see you at the funny farm.

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?'
Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'
'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'
Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.'
'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'
Johnny said: 'Well, I walked past Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying:
'Oh God! I'm coming!'
If Dad hadn't pinned her down, I reckon we'd have lost her."
The nun had to leave the room.

[DaBull]

Re: Bad joke thread....

what part of your body goes to heaven first?
The nun teaching sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'when you die and go to heaven, which part of your body goes first?'
suzy raised her hand and said, 'i think it's your hands.'
'why do you think it's your hands, suzy?'
suzy replied: 'because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and god just takes your hands first.'
'what a wonderful answer!', the nun said.
Little johnny raised his hand and said, 'sister, i think it's your feet.'
the nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'now, johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'
johnny said: 'well, i walked past mom and dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying:
'oh god! I'm coming!'
if dad hadn't pinned her down, i reckon we'd have lost her."
the nun had to leave the room.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[Old Carp]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Oh God, those memories of Catholic school.

[Slicks]

Re: Bad joke thread....

WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?'
Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'
'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'
Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.'
'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'
Johnny said: 'Well, I walked past Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying:
'Oh God! I'm coming!'
If Dad hadn't pinned her down, I reckon we'd have lost her."
The nun had to leave the room.

LOLOL.. that's good!

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Oh God, those memories of Catholic school.

You too eh!

[dmyers]

Re: Bad joke thread....

What does a 65year old woman and a moped have in common




There both fun to ride but you wouldn't want to be seen on one

[Old Crow]

Re: Bad joke thread....

That tune will change as you approach 65.

Trust me.