Bad joke thread....

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Apple does it again
__


Apple Computer announced today that it has developed
A computer chip that can store and play high fidelity
Music in women's breast implants.

The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00
Depending on speaker size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because
Women have always complained about men staring
At their tits and not listening to them

[fishgoblue]

Re: Bad joke thread....

John goes to the Parish revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the church.

Johnny gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: 'Johnny, what do you want me to pray about for you?'

Johnny replies: 'Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.'

The preacher puts one finger in Johnny's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Johnny's head and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks Johnny: 'Johnny, how is your hearing now?'

Johnny says, 'I don't know, preacher, it's not in court until next Wednesday'

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

LOL - saw that one coming!

[dmyers]

walked right into that one

don myers

[DocVoyager]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Q: If a Bear craps in the woods and theres no one around to smell him, does it still stink?

A: How would I know? Go ask the guy who steps in it.

[dmyers]

Re: Bad joke thread....


Now that was bad!!

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Q: If a Bear craps in the woods and theres no one around to smell him, does it still stink?

A: How would I know? Go ask the guy who steps in it.

Thats how it works with dog crap!

[MattieG]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Dave, sorry I didn't act on it before, but can you tell me again how to get the map of the states I've ridden in on my profile? I guess this joke's on me.

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Try this link
Enter the states and save to your computer then just attach it like any other file to your profile/signature.

http://www.visitedstatesmap.com/

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

As a kid that lived on a small farm with cows one comment was "it,s ok to smell like a barn just do not have any on your shoes when you walk in" LOL

[DocVoyager]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Got this one from my sister...

According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school was recentlyfaced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would putit on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but afterthey put on their lipstickthey would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lipprints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day thegirls would put them back. Finally the principal, Sister Mary, decided that something had to be done.She called all the girls to thebathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained thatall these lip prints werecausing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrorsevery night (you can just imaginethe yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Maryasked the maintenance manto show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handledsqueegee, dipped it in thetoilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.




There are teachers..... And then there are educators!!!

[dmyers]

Re: Bad joke thread....

And That Ain't No Joke!!!

[dmyers]

Re: Bad joke thread....

The phone rings and a woman answers the phone.
"Hello?", the woman answers.
A pervert, with heavy breathing says, "I bet you have a tight ass with no hair"........
The woman replies, "Yes, he's watching football.....would you like to talk to him?"

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

hate it the wife hands me the phone and says "It's for you !" and nothing more.. never know whats going to happen.. LOL

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

The phone rings and a woman answers the phone.
"Hello?", the woman answers.
A pervert, with heavy breathing says, "I bet you have a tight ass with no hair"........
The woman replies, "Yes, he's watching football.....would you like to talk to him?"

Sounds like my house! LOL!