Bad joke thread....

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Dang Trey you got a million of em!

[TreyTaylorVN750]

Re: Bad joke thread....

they arent all mine to tell the truth but they are funny

[fishgoblue]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Those Harley jokes are awesome. I'll be stealing some of those.

[Farmer522]

Re: Bad joke thread....

They are good ones

[dmyers]

If harley Davidson made a airplane, Would you fly in it?

don myers

[TreyTaylorVN750]

Re: Bad joke thread....

the question is how many helicopters does it take to keep it off the ground lol

[Voyager_PWS]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Ok so we are going down the HD Joke route?? Here is an oldie but a goodie!!

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle,
Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At
the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorcycles have
changed the world, your reward is, you can hang
out with anyone you want to in heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then
Said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and
Introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so
You were the one who invented the
Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."
God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in
inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and
pollution and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally
spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, " Ah, yes."
"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional , you have some
major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,"
Replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed
in a few words and waited for the results. The
computer printed out a slip of paper and God
Read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,"
God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers,
more men are riding my invention than yours."

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

OMG that is too funny!!!

[TreyTaylorVN750]

Re: Bad joke thread....

A crusty old biker walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" The biker shouts, "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account... now!" She replies camly, "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank." She then leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform her of the situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to foul language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the old biker,
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" The old biker explains, "There's no damn problem. I just won 50 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"
"I see," says the manager, "and is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Money Talks!

[DocVoyager]

Re: Bad joke thread....

lol......... about the size of it

[dmyers]

Re: Bad joke thread....

JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE



What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan


What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.



What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?

The position of the dirt bag


Why is divorce so expensive?

because it's worth it.



What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts


Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.


What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.


What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.



What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

10 years and 45 lbs


What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes



What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife


Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.



Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.



What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.


What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

'Are you sure it's mine?'


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

Everyone has the same DNA.



Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

a different bar


Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a

blonde baby?

They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment


What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!


What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ..' -

A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....

[TreyTaylorVN750]

Re: Bad joke thread....

hey now i resemble some of those remarks

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Pants VS Panties

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''

She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'

Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

So....On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!


She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'

Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !


Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your panties.'

Karen said, 'Exactly.

And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

You guys never fail to brighten my day!