Bad joke thread....

[dmyers]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Yeah it sounded alot funnier 30 years ago

[Bear2123]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Yeah it sounded alot funnier 30 years ago

+1 You can say that again! Aargh!

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

The Lone Ranger's Last Request
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by a hostile Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaimed,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger"...

"In honour of the Buffalo Hunt,
YOU will be sacrificed in three days."
"Before we kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request?'
The Lone Ranger said,
"I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nodded and Silver was brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispered in
Silver's ear, and the horse galloped away.
Later that evening, Silver returned with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watched,
the blonde entered the Lone Ranger's tent
and spent the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admitted
that he was impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse,"

but we will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request?"
The Lone Ranger again asked to speak
to his horse.

Silver came to him,
and he again whispered in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver took off and disappeared
over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,
Silver again returned,
this time with a voluptuous brunette,
even more attractive than the blonde.

She entered the Lone Ranger's tent
and spent the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief
said:
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"

"But we will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request?"
The Lone Ranger responded,
"I'd like to speak to my horse - alone."
The Chief was curious, but he agreed,
and Silver was brought to
the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they were alone,
the Lone Ranger grabbed Silver by both ears,
looked him square in the eye and said,
Listen Very Carefully! FOR...THE...LAST...TIME...



"BRING POSSE!

[TBuschle]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Sounds like something Tonto would do.

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

HOW DID I LIVE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT KNOWING THIS?


THE KINGDOM OF THAILAND

I'll bet you never knew this!!!

In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following community ceremony:-

They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward. A beautiful young naked girl kneels over the ankles of each of the men.

She places a blob of honey and various crushed sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies and insects.

(This keeps them off his face during the ceremony)

A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful naked girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance in the center of the circle.

As soon as all the men become fully aroused and develop erections, the kneeling girls then reach over the knees, pull the fully erected penises downwards as much as they can and then on a given signal from the centre dancer release them.

The men's penises would then spring back up and go "WHAP!" against their belly buttons.

This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity . . .the man who killed the most flies was elected to the court of the King.

And that, folks, is why the current capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok.

[dmyers]

makes sense to me

don myers

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Not sure if posted previously but still funny:

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "D d d doc, I've bbeen stttutering ffor yyyears and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp mmme?"
The doctor says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on."
So he examines him and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.."

The guy says, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"
The doctor says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords.”

The guy says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?"
The doctor advises, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."
The guy says, "Dddeal.....Dddo it!"

The guy has the operation and six weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on"

The doctor says, "P p p piss o o o off. A ddddeal's a dddeal.

[fishgoblue]

Re: Bad joke thread....

That's funny.

[dmyers]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Loved it!!

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Some good "bad" ones for sure!

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

I was working out at the gym the other day when I noticed a sweet young hottie walking in...
Fitness.jpg
I asked the trainer beside me what machine I should use to impress "that lady over there"?
He looked me up and down and said "try the ATM in the lobby!!

[ggale]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Dang, that is one hard body. There is not a-nuff money in the local ATM to keep her happy... or my acount... "beat me, hurt me, make me write bad checks !" lol

[Cinci Ryder]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Bad joke?

How did Dairy Queen get prego?


Burger King forgot to wrap his "Whopper!"

[Aquar1234]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Bad joke?

How did Dairy Queen get prego?


Burger King forgot to wrap his "Whopper!"

And Wendy was frosty!

[Racinfan101]

Re: Bad joke thread....

Those last two epitomize - BAD BAD BAD!